This Week

Legally:
Bought formula for Iris on Tuesday-larger container for $30 (had a $5 coupon).  Spoke to Mike a couple of times, once on skype.  We discussed a formal separation agreement, which he said was up to me but that would change our financial arrangement (obviously).  He is visiting for two days this weekend, arriving tomorrow (Saturday).  He will be keeping Iris for the duration of his visit.

Feelings:
I'm all over the place, as usual.  I miss my husband, my best friend.  I want so badly to have my Mike back, the man that loved me and that I talked to and loved.  I am so hopeful after we've had a nice conversation, it's insane.  And then the rest of the time I know that nothing has changed, that he is still continuing with another woman and that he still doesn't love me enough to even try to save our marriage.  He didn't even want to stop me from formally separating, he didn't care about me, just about his money.  I know he isn't in love with me, but I can't pull away.  I can't stop.  And I'm so frustrated with people telling me to just stop, to move on, it's just not that simple. 

Mike treats me badly.  He doesn't respect me, love me, trust me, or care for my feelings and well being.  I know this.  I need to keep saying it until it really sinks in.  And in the meantime, he tells me he loves me and misses me.  He says things like he is "excited to see us", which really means that he's excited to see Iris and has to include me, to keep things easy between us.  Should i be brave and take charge of the situation and put an end it all (or at least the beginning of the end)? Is that really what he wants and just doesn't want to be the bad guy?  I guess we will see this weekend, I hope I am able to make a decision after spending a little time with him and talking to him some. 

Iris:
Turned 11 weeks old today!  She is more alert every day and seems to be able to see things more clearly.  She is also aware of where sounds come from, she follows the sound.  She is rolling a little now, just on to her side, but it's definitely progress!  She is growing hair back on top of her head and is probably 10lbs now.  Absolutely gorgeous little girl, she's so cheeky and happy!!